Conflict Resolution
In my professional career I met many conflicts, earlier as a marriage counselor, later as a business consultant within different organizations, putting the Harvard Model for negotiating and my counseling experience into practice here is one of the cases I was allowed to help solve.
A Real Case Story
Not so long ago I was called
by an organization to help
resolve a conflict.
They explained that there
was a conflict going on
between two departments and
that it was expanding to
other areas. They did
not know what to do about it
and asked if I could help
out. It was an
organization in electrical
wiring and cooling
installations with about 200
employees. I had
trained some of their staff
before in self management,
communication and leadership
skills.
We called for a meeting with 16 of the key players in the ongoing conflict. Most of them were project leaders. The moment I stepped into the room I could feel the tension and a competition going on. All of the attendants were men. Some of attendants stating unfriendly things such as: “We make all the money and you guys only waste it.” and other nasty remarks.
Something had to be done and so I decided to give them an assignment. Two hours later the conflict was over.
This is what I did.
I explained the situation to
them and affirmed that we would
solve this conflict today
because it is too costly in many
ways, on a company level and on
a personal level too. I told
them that they are all
hardworking men who deserve a
better working climate. I gave
them the following assignment: I
want you to write down the
answers to three questions.
- What do you like about your company?
- What do you think your department does well?
- What do you think is your personal contribution to your department?
The moment they started
writing down the answers, the
atmosphere started changing, it
mellowed a little. We were
moving in different direction,
out of the combat zone. Then I
showed them a sign on a piece of
paper, showing a big 3 and
explained to them, that it can
be seen from at least 4
different points of view. Some
would see an E, others a W or an
M or even a B.
Who then is right? I do not
know! But if I can only see my
point of view and am not able to
see that other people might see
something different, I can
not call myself a professional!
I would be a poor communicator and not really a contribution to my organization, because I could only produce, what I would call “specialist” behavior, and we all know what a pain these so called specialists can cause, by expressing only their own sacred point of view.
Then I stated that people in
their function (most of them
were project leaders) should be
able to communicate some kind of
understanding to their
conversation partner, even if
they had a different point of
view. Then I gave them another
assignment to practice this.
I wanted them to interview
somebody else in this room and
listen carefully, not expressing
their own point of view, but
professionally communicating
understanding that they
understood the answers given on
the previous three questions and
give a summary (recap) on the
answers, to show their
understanding.
I saw to it that I made teams of
the most opposing participants.
They reluctantly agreed when I
made them team up with each
other. In the beginning of the
interview they sat as far as
possible away from each other.
I watched the time and saw to
it, that they kept to the
assignment. After they did the
recap, they were allowed to
change roles, so the other
person would be interviewed.
This exercise took about 20
minutes, the atmosphere in the
room changed, it became less
grim and the tone of the voices
softened up.
Then I had a last assignment for
them.
I explained, when you meet a
person in general, even when it
is very briefly, you have
positive and sometimes negative
impressions, all of them we
mostly don’t share with this
person.
Today, I want you to share one
thing you noticed about the
other person you just
interviewed in a positive way
and see to it that he receives
your positive message.
After two hours we closed the intense meeting and the conflict had evaporated and did not return again.